So I’m sitting here in my hotel room at 3:42 am. I’m in a hotel because I’ve just participated in a trade show 5 hours from my home, and I’m awake at 3:42 am because – well that’s just the way I work. Sleeping 4-5 hours a night is frustrating, but it’s because I wake in the middle of the night and immediately my mind shifts into high gear. What if I do this? I should do that. Remember when that happened? I should write something. Can’t stop the thinking …

I think about all the things I’ve done over the last few years, (well over my life really) the experiences I’ve had, the crazy leap of faith that I was going to quit the day job and devote myself full time to my art a few years ago. Yay! To be honest if I didn’t have savings I might have starved to death, but then again, I’m sure I would have found a way. Because my crazy brain would have come up with something. And it’s starting to pay off – I’m learning and growing, and selling more. I’ve had wonderful people stop by my display this weekend to tell me how much they like my work – hopefully some of that will pay off with some new contracts to have my prints and wearables in their shops. I think the wearables got most of the attention, which makes me a wee bit sad, but that is part of me too, and it all starts with making the art. My hope is that if I get my work in more shops it will give me more time to do what I love. If the paintings stack up and the wearables sell lots I’m ok with that. But the reality is trying to get to that stage is keeping me away from creating. I just can’t do everything everywhere all the time. I’m working my butt off with this marketing stuff and not spending nearly enough time doing what I love – just creating. Just being me.

So this crazy brain of mine that just keeps going and going and going – the only time it is really peaceful is when I’m painting. I get totally immersed in the marks and blending and and layering and the possibility. I have no fear of the blank canvas – that is filled with infinite possibilities. And I have no fear of failure or “ruining” a painting by experiment- so many people are timid and wonder “what if” and then seek advice from others. I think this is what holds an artist back “What if” almost immediately translates to “do it” for me (which is how I wound up in this hotel).

For the next few weeks I have no commitments, no shows, no classes – nothing except the need to get back to less “what if” in terms of growing my business, and more “what if” in terms of making my art. It’s really hard to separate the two, because I feel I “should” be selling more, getting to more galleries and shops (and I’m partly driven to that by a new friend who is very active in getting new shops, so I feel I should do this too. The fomo is real.) I “should” be teaching – many people ask. But do I want to? Probably not, I’m very impatient and not sure I could handle it! I “should” be making work that is more easily sale-able. But do I want to? No. I could create more realistic landscapes or still lifes or florals – art that people can more easily understand. But it’s not what I want. I want work that is me, I want work that speaks to people’s emotions, that makes them feel. I want my work to stir your imagination. I don’t want you to see my paintings, I want you to feel them. I want my work to make you think “what if…?”. I want to surround you with a sense of wonder.

Enjoy this brief process video – this is how I play and explor and become fully involved in the process of creation. The piece you’ll see in progress here is “The pond” – which went to a new home in San Diego in 2022. The prints are a crowd favourite at markets – and truly authentic as “The pond” is an expression of me – how I felt staring out at the salt marsh / pond beside my studio, trying to capture the atmosphere and peace that surrounds me. Marketing and selling is hard work. Teaching is hard work. Making art is just me being me. Work less, art more – this is my goal.